On the positive side, though, these Guildfordians have astoundingly advanced horticultural skills, and they're very proud to display the results of their expertise in their beautiful public gardens

After many, many months of travelling at light speed aboard my spaceship – called 'Lomo X-1' – I finally made it to the nearest galaxy, Andromeda, and touched down carefully upon a planet that I soon learned was called 'Guildford'. This is the photographic journal of my brief visit to that weird but wonderful, and very welcoming, little planet.

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