In Depth: Learning to See Yourself as a Photographer

When I started practicing photography in 2018, I didn’t think much of it, rather it was just another creative endeavor that could complement my music when I was in a creative rut. I considered photography more as a diary rather than something professional. At that time I was mostly shooting my daily life in college mixed with the different music gigs I would be going to. This became another way to slow down my life rather than capturing everything digitally. Besides this, I was heavily influenced and encouraged by many photographer friends who even at college were already hugely successful, as they would be hired to shoot conceptual fashion editorials, shadow emerging indie bands, and even cover intense protests and rallies for different news outlets.

Over time, I developed a greater interest in photography, especially as things began to open up again after the pandemic. I started taking my camera with me everywhere I went to document how the music scene was rebuilding itself after a period of dormancy. As I continued to take unofficial photos at various gigs and events, I started to become recognized as a photographer, which was a new experience for me. In this particular scene, I was mostly known for my involvement in music, so being recognized for another art form was different.

Perhaps I felt like an imposter, since I hadn't received any formal photography training, and I just learned as I went along. This became more apparent, especially when people would refer to me as a photographer or when I would take a slight pause when people would ask if I was a photographer. For me, the act of taking photos and being a photographer were two different things, as I felt the latter required some sort of achievement or recognition which I did not have. But it was not until I finally got my work peer-reviewed and joined a photo collective that I felt that I could accept being called a photographer.

I guess we can start with the technical definition of a photographer. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, its a person who takes photographs, either as a job or hobby. This means as long as you practice photography anyone can consider themselves a photographer. Despite this, there is a hesitancy to be labeled as such maybe because of the mindset that you need to have had certain achievements, or certain skills, maybe even have your own style. For those who practice commercially, they can say with more confidence that they are photographers but for those of us who treat it as a hobby or for creative expression, we may have a hard time calling ourselves such.

The next thing to question is, what do we have to prove? Does it have to be something tangible, like being part of an exhibit or your first commercial work? Could it be something as simple as a photograph done well? I guess it depends on the person but for me it finally took me joining a photo review workshop to actually see myself as a photographer. As I continued to take nightlife photos I decided to try and apply to FLINT – an emerging photography collective that had an open call for people to showcase their projects and photos. At that time I didn't really see what I was taking as one big project but I needed to formalize and bring together all the work I've been doing in the past years into something cohesive. Mixing my digital and film photos I called my project One Night In Heaven which showcases the underground and queer nightlife of Manila as it attempts to reshape itself after the pandemic.

Getting my work seen by professionals and people I looked up to was nothing new to me but since it was in terms of photography instead of music I was on edge and anxious to see how they saw my work. My work for this mixed up scenes from the different nights out over the past two years, capturing hazy dancefloors, intimate portraits, and blurred lights of the dancefloor. Defending my work, the panel saw what I wanted to do and understood what I was after. They gave interesting critiques and new insights and perspectives on how to go through my work. From their perspective, I felt more like an observer rather than someone who was a participant, which I found interesting and something I didn't expect. They also gave examples of photographers to check out and what kind of things I could reference in order to find newer angles and vantage points. Beyond my critiques, hearing the other projects allowed me to view photography through a much deeper lens as many projects were on the more personal and even conceptual side, which made me see how far it's possible to take one's photography.

When I connected with FLINT on a personal level, I gained a newfound appreciation for my photography skills. It gave my work a deeper meaning and purpose, and the feedback and suggestions I received helped me gain the confidence and validation I needed to see myself as a photographer. However, it's important to remember that seeking validation from others or joining a workshop isn't the only way to define oneself as a photographer. It's a personal journey and everyone has their own path to discovering themselves as photographers.

When was the moment you realized you could call yourself a photographer? Comment down below and tell us your story!

written by rocket_fries0036 on 2024-08-25 #culture #in-depth #reflection #photography #photographer #identity #in-depth