My Darker Side


Let me be perfectly honest, there’s not a lot I have done which I am proud of!

Credits: litleandi

I have always thought of myself as a pretty wise person. Advice on life is something I am known for giving. I mean, I seem to understand people so well. It’s just in my blood what can I say… But one thing I can’t seem to understand properly is… MYSELF!

Credits: litleandi

Through my younger years I was a good kid. I true genius i must say. Academically within the top 3% in my high school, and within the top 3 students in the state for mathematics. But now… What happened?!?

I have realized that I have always had an addictive personality. Being successful in school was essential. No wait… It was paramount!!! Unfortunately it wasn’t just the grades…

Credits: litleandi

First, the alcohol. It started with a sip of beer, which turned into a bottle of chives by the age of 20. Then came the cocaine. Well, actually it started with marijuana, but that didn’t go down well the first time so that was the once and only. But cocaine… Oh my, the cocaine!!!

Credits: litleandi

What a joy!!! I felt on top of the world with just one line. Then the second just made me superman. It’s not something I am proud of, but it’s something I really enjoyed.

Credits: litleandi

My addiction has cost me a lot… Money, work, friends, family, marriage… And so much more (not even mentioning my brain cells! At least I can still buy friends).

Credits: litleandi

But that is all in my past now. I have been clean of coke for the past 25months and counting (something my new partner is happy about). And as for the alcohol, I may not off the wagon, but I am fighting hard to control the urges.

Credits: litleandi

But there’s one thing I am content to be addicted to… Photography!!! It’s not exactly cheap, but at least it doesn’t cost as much as a gram of coke. And it reminds me that my life is precious and I plan to record it through analogue.

Through it I hope to show the world (or whoever wants to view it) as I know it. Not exactly sober, but happily on my way there and also to happiness!!!

Credits: litleandi

Regardless what, i will continue my fight with myself and control my addictions.

So let’s take the photographic journey together…

Credits: litleandi

It may not make you as high as a line of coke or a bottle of chivas will, but I guarantee that it will show you life through my eyes.

written by litleandi on 2012-08-13


  1. oldtimer-rfh
    oldtimer-rfh ·

    I get it,I to walked a similar road. I hope you will complete your journey. God Bless,the Oldtimer

  2. knipsomat
    knipsomat ·

    in search of the lost luck

  3. clickiemcpete
    clickiemcpete ·

    Photography and love, the two best drugs in the world. ;)

  4. yawn
    yawn ·

    If you keep being honest people might get addicted to your blogs

  5. schemerel
    schemerel ·

    I agree with @yawn
    kudos on the honesty
    good luck with beating the bad addiction(s) and nurturing the good ones.
    Don't be too hard on yourself, it's not easy, and I applaud your 25 months of being sober!
    last but not least: wonderful photo's !

  6. dreadlockboy
    dreadlockboy ·

    agree with u,i get addicted with photography analog...and God bless you my friend,Fighting!! :)

  7. eva_eva
    eva_eva ·

    Keep it up! :) Support!

  8. ropi
    ropi ·

    You are really brave for telling us your story!!! and I agre with @mauvemarvel, the day we stop fighting is the day we die! So keep on fighting!! :)