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The Cancer Patient

Last year, my wife fought off uterine cancer. My analog cameras helped capture what I saw with my eyes, what I felt with my heart.

Photo by emperornorton

A few days after this photo — the first on my “new” Zenza Bronica ETRS — was taken, Lynn went in for what was supposed to be a routine laparoscopic hysterectomy. Her doctor smiled and reminded us that only 2% of the patients of her age had malignant tumors. The surgery would take only thirty minutes, he assured me. An hour and a half later, I looked up from my reading to see him marching grim-faced towards me. He had bad news: she was one of the 2%.

Three days later we learned that the cancer had spread to her left ovary. He had removed everything, but he was guarded in her prognosis: he gave her a 75 to 80% chance of surviving five years.

She remained at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach for a week. To celebrate her release, I took her down to Newport Beach Pier to walk on the beach and not think about the months of chemotherapy and radiation that lay ahead. The fishermen were catching mackerel that day and the sea gulls were clustering around them, hoping to steal a fish. Lynn walked around slightly bleary-eyed, sharing with me an uncertain hope for her recovery.

Photo by emperornorton

We took many beach outings. Walking on the slightly sloping sand was easier for her than the mountain trails that we used to hike together. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. We would amble until she could take no more. Then, I would take her to the friend’s house where she was recovering.

After her second chemotherapy treatment, she started to lose her hair. To hide the fact, she wore a wig and scarves. Friends came to us with weird outlooks and theories. Some said she might not lose her hair — on days when she had pulled out clumps by the comb-full. A woman I knew online urged me to talk Lynn into skipping chemotherapy and try a radio-wave treatment. I looked into it and discovered that the founder of the organization had, himself, died of cancer.

Photo by emperornorton

I had my own demons to wrestle. I live with bipolar disorder, so Lynn’s sickness was a special strain on me. People didn’t understand that I couldn’t be there day and night for Lynn, that I had take sufficient time off for myself; that I had to sleep in a familiar bed and get enough sleep so that I didn’t spiral into madness.

One day, Lynn pulled off her wig and said “Take my picture.” I pulled out my camera phone and produced this shot:

It was, perhaps, the saddest picture of her that I ever took.

All this did work for the better. In September — about a year ago — she finished her chemotherapy and was declared in remission. She regained the weight she had lost during chemo and regrew her hair. In spring of this year, we took a cruise to Mexico. Lynn felt invigorated and happy.

Life prevailed over death. We’re back to taking long walks every Sunday. I’ve added a Belair to my collection and continue to play with the other gems of my analog collection. The photos show me what we went through — Lynn as a patient, me as a husband who was for a time unsure about what would happen to her and to his own sanity.

If this should happen to you, do what your doctors tell you to do. Oncology continues to refine its techniques: the survival rate for uterine cancer is now 90% or better if it is caught early enough. If you are a spouse, make time for yourself.

And do not stop seeing — because our visions are part of life.

written by emperornorton

17 comments

  1. saidseni

    saidseni

    Strong hug to both of you. :´)

    8 months ago · report as spam
  2. ksears119

    ksears119

    Very nice! You must both be very proud of each other!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  3. lakandula

    lakandula

    Best wishes of good health and lots of lomo memories to take!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  4. pussylove

    pussylove

    Warm thoughts to both of you...

    8 months ago · report as spam
  5. mafiosa

    mafiosa

    Thanks for sharing this story with us. I am glad to hear things are better!! Best wishes.

    8 months ago · report as spam
  6. clownshoes

    clownshoes

    :D you both are the best!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  7. nonspecificscientific

    nonspecificscientific

    Great story. Wishing the best for the both of you.

    8 months ago · report as spam
  8. lonur

    lonur

    i feel very moved by this. thanks a lot for sharing, very inspiring. best wishes for you both!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  9. ihave2pillows

    ihave2pillows

    What a journey! I'm glad that Lynn is recovering :-) Best wishes!!! xxx

    8 months ago · report as spam
  10. daitita

    daitita

    :_)

    8 months ago · report as spam
  11. sirio174

    sirio174

    an huge hug!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  12. waggrad00

    waggrad00

    Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing this!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  13. adamo-75

    adamo-75

    Thankyou for sharing your experience, beautifully inspiring. Love and good vibes to you both.

    8 months ago · report as spam
  14. guanatos

    guanatos

    Wow... I just read this and I think it's amazing how both of you (in your own way) were able to over come this. Inspiring!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  15. ajagee24701

    ajagee24701

    Beautiful and inspiring article!

    8 months ago · report as spam
  16. grazie

    grazie

    My best wishes to the both of you. Hopefully I meet you one of these days. Thanks for sharing this. Very inspiring :)

    8 months ago · report as spam
  17. littlekoala

    littlekoala

    I'm very happy to read that she's recovered. A big hug to both of you and my best wishes

    7 months ago · report as spam

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This is the original article written in: English. It is also available in: Deutsch, Français & Spanish.