Greg Ash's 10 Reasons Why 'Shooting Film Makes You Arty'


Film photographers are innately artsy. Everything they do, whatever kind of pictures they take: they are, more or less, automatically considered to be funky-fartsy. Every film photographer's self-portrait is his/her diary — or another just "another arty accident," says blogger Greg Ash.

Don’t get us wrong. Generalizing analogue photographers as hip individuals would, of course, be an overstatement. Nope! Stereotyping is not our middle name. However, here is a cynically funny 10-bullet point type-touched testament by an online writer *Greg Ash* which elaborates why shooting film makes one arty — and all that jazz!

Credits: jorgesato

First up, having an analogue camera round your neck just looks artier than a chunky digital one. Unfortunately, due to a flurry of articles in Lifestyle magazines about old cameras being cool, it is sometimes difficult to separate the real arty ones from the pretenders. Just knowing know how to use it means you are already ahead of the game.

Loading film is a skill that few people have anymore. Skills are arty. Even if you aren’t at the end your film, rewind it, remove it and replace the same film in a public place and you will be the artiest person in the room. If no one notices, just repeat.

If someone you have just met proclaims themselves a ‘photographer,’ you can ask them what format they shoot, analogue or digital. If they reply ‘digital,’ you are allowed to smirk slightly, before straightening your face and saying, “That’s cool.” They’ll understand that what you really mean is “I’m better than you.”

Shooting film is old. In the past, people used to be artier than they are now (e.g. Dickens and Shakespeare). Therefore, you are arty.

Credits: fresa

When you drop your film off to be developed, most labs give you a little piece of paper to keep in your wallet. Every time you go to pay for something, take this slip out and say loudly “I must remember to pick up my photos.” The combination of absent-mindedness and shooting analogue makes you mega-arty! This is especially effective on a date.

Because analogue photos are physical, you can carry your artiness with you at all times. Take them out on a busy bus or tube, flick through them, study your negatives, hold them up to the light. Go to town and watch as the dullards playing games on their iPhones look up and realise they live shallow lives compared to you.

When you take an photo of a group, exclaim “That was a good one!” Everyone will crowd around to see the digital display. Of course there isn’t one. While you know it will be a good photo, they need a LCD display to confirm this. You are arty. They are not.

Excess film should be kept in your fridge. Don’t ask why. Just do it. Then host a big event like a barbecue and tell people to help themselves to beers in the fridge. They will see that you value art more than food. Although they might not say anything, deep down you’ll know they know.

Credits: moodification

If you upload your analogue photos on Facebook you will get twice as many ‘likes’ as a digital album. Simple. Other people will want to add you as a friend. If they have an arty profile photo, accept them. Otherwise, don’t.

To show off your artiness, take arty self-portraits of yourself without fear of criticism. Whilst a digital self portrait is narcissistic, an analogue self portrait is just an arty accident. After all, you were only using up the final few shots so you could get your film developed.

Text originally authored by Greg Ash.

written by basterda on 2011-08-31 in #lifestyle #jon-salt #blogs


  1. wilfbiffherb
    wilfbiffherb ·

    factual comedy, love it!!

  2. laurasulilly
    laurasulilly ·

    Hilarious! And true somehow! But I don't get many likes on my albums on Facebook, though, maby I'm not arty enough- or just extremeley bad ;)

  3. annik_a
    annik_a ·

    Hahaha, this is the most smug article I've read all week ; )

  4. sidsel
    sidsel ·

    One of the funniest articles 'round here! I just loved reading it!

  5. jorgesato
    jorgesato ·

    brilliant! haha

  6. coca
    coca ·

    great article, very funny!! xD

  7. violetcraze
    violetcraze ·

    nice one! haha enjoyed reading this very much!

  8. violetcraze
    violetcraze ·

    nice one! haha enjoyed reading this very much!

  9. johan34370
    johan34370 ·

    that was really funny and well written, thanks man! :)

  10. remitch
    remitch ·

    ... number ten is so true !

  11. aalper
    aalper ·

    I love, I really do, but this article is elitist. I detest elitism.

  12. tiranapermata
    tiranapermata ·

    Haha, funny! Love number two and ten

  13. ibkc
    ibkc ·

    Oh, I love this. @aalper, it's not elitism, it's satire, and the writer is actually poking fun (gentle fun) at us film photographers rather than literally saying "look at how arty we really are". The great thing is that there is a lot of truth to it. Thumbs up!

  14. ake
    ake ·

    funniest, ever! LOL can't help it...

  15. aalper
    aalper ·

    @ibck, Elitism and satire are not mutually exclusive.

  16. chappelow
    chappelow ·

    Excellent piece. Really enjoyed reading it and laughed out loud. Write more.

  17. allyb
    allyb ·


  18. alejandrolavin
    alejandrolavin ·

    #6 is my fave!

  19. houda21
    houda21 ·

    Well us lomographers are great ;)

  20. kneehigh85
    kneehigh85 ·

    Hahaha I like this a lot!!!

  21. nilard12
    nilard12 ·

    Nice one there!=)

  22. dirklancer
    dirklancer ·

    So funny.
    I totally do #5.

  23. scatter_brain
    scatter_brain ·

    LOOOOVE #8. Don't ask why. I just do!

  24. natalieerachel
    natalieerachel ·

    Hahahaha I love all of those, so funny!

  25. rubenozorio
    rubenozorio ·

    Hahahahahah!! Really funny, number 8 is the best!!

  26. marcel2cv
    marcel2cv ·

    Wonderful article. :-D

  27. veato
    veato ·

    7 and 8 had me in stitches!

  28. cfib
    cfib ·

    #11 Why scanning your negatives at home where nobody can see and admire you? Take your folder full of negatives to university's computer! And don't forget to bring your white cotton gloves. This will make you look extremely arty. (This is what I'm doing at the moment because I don't own a proper film scanner :D)

  29. cfib
    cfib ·

    *computer lab ;)

  30. yopanic
    yopanic ·

    funniest article ever... ;)

  31. niasarinastiti
    niasarinastiti ·

    Ahahahah nice!!!!

  32. karpis
    karpis ·

    Irony in its best!

  33. roxanneross
    roxanneross ·

    haha such a funny article :D

  34. mochabear
    mochabear ·

    The one thing i hate most is stereotypical people..... but im sorry the dudes got a point!

  35. lilo
    lilo ·

    I love the logic in four, and the randomness of eight (I should move my stash!)..
    #11 by @cfib looks like a lot of fun to do!
    All in all: Great read!

  36. neversmiling
    neversmiling ·

    #7 is sooo true! I'd also like to add, that if you let someone use your camera to take a photo of you, they will automatically look at the back for the readout after snapping the picture.

  37. vandal
    vandal ·

    all of them are true...and real funny !!!

  38. robotmonkey1996
    robotmonkey1996 ·

    Why can't everyone be like this guy

  39. paperrose
    paperrose ·

    This article made my day! Brilliant! :D

  40. wonderdude
    wonderdude ·

    The best targets for satire are people who take themselves way too seriously (e.g., Best in Show, or Waiting for Guffman). The funniest thing about this article, though, is how it teases insecurities. I'll bet a bunch of readers secretly wonder "Am *I* snobby and pretentious?" or, "Am I an artist, or am I only trying to look like one?" My favorite line in the article is, "deep down you’ll know they know."
    Cheers to Lomography for publishing this article! :)

  41. toyba_elescione
    toyba_elescione ·

    I got it, Sir! Love the THINGS #3.. haha

  42. antibiotyx
    antibiotyx ·

    amen to that!

  43. artvandelay
    artvandelay ·

    I really didn't find this funny. It just made me sad because I'm thinking about how many people on this site really do and/or think these things

  44. mr-korn
    mr-korn ·

    funny article
    but I seriously don't want to be "Arty"... If you caught me being Arty, please kill me :^P

  45. vici
    vici ·

    have I told you how much I love this?

  46. robot_average
    robot_average ·

    #3: Amazing... totally amazing, and so true.

  47. daihowell
    daihowell ·

    I completely love this, very amusing I must say :)

  48. edwardpiper
    edwardpiper ·

    Very entertaining, Love it!

  49. stickyvinny
    stickyvinny ·

    Hahaha! ♥
    I seriously love this so much! It's amazing! :D

  50. stouf
    stouf ·

    I'm still laughing. If I may:
    When you have guests at home tell them they must use the other bathroom, because in this one, your films are drying. You'll sound artsy while deliberately interfering with their natural needs.

  51. suhan7773
    suhan7773 ·

    LOL....We are a piece of art ourselves as lomographer!!!Cheerrsss!!!

  52. lawypop
    lawypop ·

    Let's aLL be ArtY !

  53. levisigua
    levisigua ·

    guilty with #1, #2 and #6 haha

  54. ripsta
    ripsta ·

    : )

  55. gladysdavid
    gladysdavid ·

    LOLs at #2. This article made my day!

  56. rahela
    rahela ·

    "When you take an photo of a group, exclaim “That was a good one!” Everyone will crowd around to see the digital display. " happens all the time :D

  57. jis_siempre
    jis_siempre ·

    jajajjaja si llego con retraso.. Pero me hizo mucha gracia ^_^

  58. planomania
    planomania ·

    #5 is soooo true! I remember my mom doing that all the time--now I know why. I must remember to tease her about this.... ;)

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