Fed 3 - A Nuclear Survivor

8

It is claimed that after we have World War 3 the only things that will survive are cockroaches, I am inclined to disagree. I believe that the other thing that will survive a nuclear war is: The Fed 3.

The Fed 3 is an unbelievable beast of a camera weighing approximately the same as a small elephant and has enough metal to make a tank look flimsy. These cameras were built to last and I for one am glad they were.

Aesthetics
The fed 3 is not an easy camera either to shoot or to look at. On first look the camera seems to be unbalanced, the lens seems off centre and too thin for the hulking body. The screws that hold the body together jut out all over the body making it look like it has had a nasty accident and undergone surgery and therefore a little comical. For such a large camera the viewfinder seems small and pointless, almost an after thought.

Shooting
The Fed 3 is as impractical as it is heavy. James Bond would not use a Fed 3 for top secret espionage, not only because you need a pocket the size of Belgium to carry it round in but also it is not a quiet camera. Let me set the scene; James Bond has snuck into Blofelds secret headquarters, he’s found the secret plans for the machine that will do the thing, he struggles to get the fed 3 from his pockets then takes the shot of the plans, and as the shutter releases: KARUNK! In seconds all the baddies are on him – fortunately the Fed 3 does come in handy as a weapon to bash your way out of such a tight spot.
The camera has, possibly, the loudest shutter I have heard. Ever.
And then there are the cameras settings.

This camera demands precision. There is no real allowance with it either in distance or exposure. Even the mechanics for setting the camera need a muscular arm and a steady hand for the lift and rotate mechanism for setting the shutter to the sluggish twisting of the lens for exposure. This all means that the Fed 3 with its temperamental rewinding mechanism (that often rips film) is a very hard camera to tame. Its strange aesthetics, the way the shutter speed dial points at a random number after you have taken a picture, the lever you have to crank to wind the film all lead you to the conclusion that this is not a great camera. But therein lies the rub. This IS a great camera. This is a camera that you need to spend time with. This is a camera that needs to be wooed and chased; and she is totally worth it. The more time you spend with her; the more you will love this camera. You will realise that what you thought was ugly at first is in fact quite beautiful and balanced. That off centre lens actually give the body a feel of dynamic composition, the screws emphasise the amount of circles that are on the camera and therefore show off how curvaceous she actually is. The hard to operate and precise settings give you great pictures and with a lens capable of shooting f2.8 she can work in low light, if you know what I mean. The view finder, however, remains small and afterthoughtish.

My advice is to go out and buy one, shoot with it as much as possible, fall in love with it, and when World War 3 starts: Use it as a bunker.

written by mattcharnock on 2008-12-10 in #reviews #refelction #water #low-light #knaresborugh #trees #mother-shipton #35mm #fed #floods

8 Comments

  1. trash-gordon-from-outer-space
    trash-gordon-from-outer-space ·

    Probably the funniest camera review I have ever read. Thank you mattcharnock!
    I like the frankensteinian look of the camera.

  2. dirklancer
    dirklancer ·

    I thought I wrote good reviews. ;)
    You set the bar a notch higher, my friend.
    Great writing, cool camera.

  3. hanspan
    hanspan ·

    well done!!!

  4. oldskool_rider
    oldskool_rider ·

    that is possibly the funniest, best written review i have ever read. the shots to go with it are perfect. it does make me want to go out and buy one, but i cant afford it unfortunately.

    nice one though!!

  5. mephisto19
    mephisto19 ·

    hahahaha
    you crazy guy

  6. lomodirk
    lomodirk ·

    Wow Matt, your a sci-fi genius ;)

  7. faisal_aziz
    faisal_aziz ·

    hahahaha

    really funny...matt~

    nice one for a camera review~

  8. anarchy
    anarchy ·

    ...And that's the truth, Ruth!

    Awesome review, Matt, awesome!

    /A.

More Interesting Articles

  • Monday Moodboard: The World’s Smallest Instant Portrait Studio

    written by cheeo on 2014-07-07 in #news
    Monday Moodboard: The World’s Smallest Instant Portrait Studio

    As far as superlatives go, having a claim to the smallest instant portrait studio in the world is actually a big thing.

    1
  • Creativity means Connecting Things - A Splitzer for the LC-A 120

    written by jennifer_pos on 2015-03-07 in #gear #lifestyle #tipster
    Creativity means Connecting Things - A Splitzer for the LC-A 120

    I don’t like to split. A split means distance, separation, it means categorical divergence. We split hairs, we split incomes, we split up. So the first thing we have to know here is that a Splitzer – different from what you might have thought - is not at all a nasty boy splitting things up.

    4
  • My Analogue Bucket List: Faster Than a Speeding Cannonball

    written by bloomchen on 2015-01-22 in #lifestyle
    My Analogue Bucket List: Faster Than a Speeding Cannonball

    The new year is still young, but it seems as if it'll be over quickly. My organizer is already filled with entries until June. 2015 will probably be worse than 2014 when it comes to having time off so I could take some analogue shots. Anyway, there are some photography-related things that I really want to get done. It is probably best to set some goals if I only have very limited time.

  • Shop News

    the perfect surprise for every analogue loving enthusiast

     the perfect surprise for every analogue loving enthusiast

    Let your loved one pick the gift of their dreams. Lomography Online Shop Gift Certificates are the perfect present for every analogue devotee on your gift list

  • Lorenzo Antico's 'Final Shot' Presents Last Shots From 33 Films

    written by Julien Matabuena on 2015-05-12 in #world #lifestyle
    Lorenzo Antico's 'Final Shot' Presents Last Shots From 33 Films

    A movie's parting shot is a crucial element in the sense that it could either make or break the lasting impression that it would have on its audience. It could either wrap things up quite nicely and leave viewers satisfied, or it could do otherwise. For many, it's often the first thing that comes to mind long after the final credits have rolled out.

  • 10 Films We’d Like to See at Cannes 2015

    written by Jill Tan Radovan on 2015-05-13 in #world #news #lifestyle
    10 Films We’d Like to See at Cannes 2015

    The Cannes Film Festival showcases some of the world's best cinematographic masterpieces. It is an annual event that is highly anticipated by fans and connoisseurs of both mainstream and independent cinema. This year's festival has officially opened and film buffs everywhere are excited, at the same time curious, about which film will win the Palme d'Or. We are in no position to predict the winner, but we do have our favorites, from the ones in competition and otherwise. In no definitive order, here is a list of 10 films that we'd like to see.

  • Colorful Transformations: Part One

    written by tomas_bates on 2014-10-17 in #news
    Colorful Transformations: Part One

    Don’t you love it when the whole world shifts into new perspectives? Perhaps it’s the moment you realize the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, or that secondly when it’s like someone has flicked a switch and life suddenly appears completely fresh again. Well ladies and gentlemen, we are nearly ready to unveil a new Lomographic surprise which will have this magical impact on your photographic life!

    8
  • Shop News

    Diana F+ Premium Glass Bundle

    Diana F+ Premium Glass Bundle

    Diana F+ and Diana+ 75mm Premium Glass Lens are now ready to give you the best shots with vignetting effects, crisp quality shots together with the signature dreamy appeal of the Diana! Save 15% on the Glass Lens in this Bundle!

  • Light is Magical: A Talk With Li Hui

    written by jennifer_pos on 2015-04-10 in #people #news #lifestyle
    Light is Magical: A Talk With Li Hui

    Photography is not only an act of documentation or communication, it is also a way of seeing the world. The camera opens our eyes and lets us see what lies behind the obvious, and we start looking at things as potential subjects of a photograph. Every leak of light unveils secrets that talented photographers turn into a piece of art. Li Hui is one of those gifted artists. We talked to her about her work and her sensitive photographs that picture a wonderful vulnerability.

    8
  • The World According to Herr Willie: The Amazon

    written by wil6ka on 2015-04-09 in #world #locations
    The World According to Herr Willie: The Amazon

    It was the Amazon which I had longed for my whole life. And when it was finally a set deal that I will travel to Brazil with two of my best friends for the Copa do Mundo (World Cup), we really had to start our adventure in the Amazon. I had known about this magical place deep in the rainforest. There was a lodge run by local people of indigenous background, with wooden houses that float on the water and a limited number of visitors. It was eco-tourism as how it should be. To preserve and to celebrate one of the most impressive locations I have seen so far.

    6
  • Lomography LomoChrome Purple XR 100-400: My Take on Colors

    written by guanatos on 2014-11-14 in #reviews
    Lomography LomoChrome Purple XR 100-400: My Take on Colors

    The beauty of this film is in how it changes the colors we see. We all know that the big changes happen to the color green, but what about the other colors? Read on to see what I found out!

    2
  • Shop News

    Feed your LC-A 120 the finest emulsions and save!

    Feed your LC-A 120 the finest emulsions and save!

    Shoot more with LC-A 120 without breaking your budget! The Phoblographer Editor’s Choice Award Winner now comes in a Bundle with 120 format film at 15% off!

  • Off the Beaten Track: The Wonderful Churches of Palermo

    written by sirio174 on 2014-06-02 in #world #locations
    Off the Beaten Track: The Wonderful Churches of Palermo

    If you are in search of a lesser known European city full of nice examples of art and architecture, I would recommend that you visit Palermo, the capital of the region of Sicily in the South of Italy. This city is rich with wonderful churches, squares, fountains, and other important monuments and buildings! Take a look after the jump!

  • The Gevabox of Wonders

    written by stratski on 2014-11-18 in #reviews
    The Gevabox of Wonders

    Sometimes you see a camera and you just have to have it. I felt that way about this lovely little box camera. Looks don't mean a thing, I know, but in this case, the looks didn't deceive me.

    1
  • My Days in Analogue: How Film Photography Changed My Weekends

    written by bebopbebop on 2014-09-04 in #lifestyle
    My Days in Analogue: How Film Photography Changed My Weekends

    What are your weekends like? Do you usually go on a date? Or perhaps you hang out with your family? Is playing video games on top of your weekend activities? I used to do those things. But it all changed since I met film photography. Find out more after the jump!

    1