When Lomo Gallery East London Store manager ibizahippy told me there was going to be free drinks going down at The Mystery Product Launch Party I was hardly going to pass up that kind of opportunity, the dishevelled, weak-willed, vagrant that I am. The surprise she had “in store” for me, however, if you’ll excuse the pun, was the icing on my hobo cake.
Yes the Soho store had some silly in stilts and yes it might have had some vaguely-themed Russian drink, but you know what? Bottles of Becks and a box marked with a big question mark are more than enough to keep a man/boy like me happy. Twin that with two fair Irish maidens and an off-duty long-legged Scandinavian and it was like I’d walked onto the set of every teenage boy’s fantasy.
Not that I’d know. For I was busy reading Proust and Derrida in my formative years and the prospect of a night like this was far, far, far off my sheltered teenage radar. All the better then that everything ibizahippy had promised – wideness, sleekness, coolness and sexy angles – was delivered with my first quick glance at her mystery box.
One rummage in her posh portmanteau and I had in my hands the new, shiny, pearl of the Lomography empire, the Lomography LC-Wide. Ogling it with timid curiosity, I held it in my virgin hands and broke my cherry by bringing the viewfinder close to my brow and pressing down the shutter with a quaint giggle of delight. “It feels so smooth and looks so pretty”, I found myself muttering (albeit in a downright masculine way) and swearing to myself that I would one day make it mine.
An awkward moment unfolded where I was asked to calmly release the object in question from my hands so that others “could have a go”. Well, you could imagine my feelings when, resigned to the shadows overlooking the Fisheyes, I watched other lucky customers drool all over her flashy mechanism. I clung to my Becks shaking with fury, but marked by LC-Wide’s overt novelty and stymied by the curios “oh” faces of others handling her wares. “I’ll be back” I swore to myself.
So, now that Lomography’s new cat is well and truly out of the bag, where do glorious disciples of the brand like me stand? If ibizahippy will have me back I’d gladly return to grope her new wide goods any day. I guess I’ll just have to wait for the next opportunity…