Learning the Art of Letting Go

19

Now, “don’t think, just shoot” has a deeper meaning for me: As I take each shot with my toy cameras, I simultaneously let go of worrying whether I got it right. As I press and let go of the shutter button, I let go of the fear of taking a crappy shot. Read how Lomography has taught me how to breathe easy.

“Should I buy this plastic toy camera or not?” Buying my first Lomographic camera, a Holga 120 GCFN, was deliberated on for a long time. How much is the film? How many pictures should I take a month? How much is film development? Isn’t a dSLR more cost-effective in the long run?

It took me a month of researching and testing myself whether I was just being impulsive or if it was really worth it. After I decided to get it, the next big decision was which color of the Holga to get. Which color was 1) most practical; 2) most interesting; 3) most attractive and; 4) had the most resale value.

I can get obsessed with the smallest detail when I decide to get “into” something. I have been called a planner, an over-thinker, a geek and, what I hate the most, a control-freak. Such a trait could lead me into a very successful career-driven life, yes, but it doesn’t seem to me like it would be a fulfilling and happy one.

Little did I know that through this small seemingly childish toy camera would break this obsession with control and slowly form it into a perspective that was much more basic, simple and in touch with life.

First Impressions

As soon as I unboxed my Holga, my first thoughts were of disappointment with how plastic toy cameras… well…were really just plastic toys that functioned as cameras. Although it took a while, the beauty of its simplicity eventually swept me off my feet! It all started and progressed with every roll that I had developed.

My first few rolls were far from amazing. As a newbie, I took each shot cautiously to minimize wasting the film. And as a newbie, I failed! I had several rolls with none to only a few mediocre pictures, but something kept me optimistic, challenged even. In a way, my analytic side contributed a lot to my work. Because I was determined to take good pictures, I refused to follow the popular rule: “don’t think, just shoot.” Instead, I learned the Sunny 16 rule and all the other basic techniques of photography.

On the Path of Learning

Pretty soon, I got the hang of films and film cameras and I slowly understood the limitations of my Holga 120 GCFN and for some time, I was caught between wanting to learn photography the simplest way vs. getting a head start by using new technology. Being a control-freak didn’t exactly make me likely to enjoy the uncomplicatedness of a toy camera. But like I mentioned, the simplicity of the camera and photography just grew on me. Eventually, I got used to light leaks and the imperfect shots AND I started loving them. I used to hate how framing was inaccurate and difficult for non-SLR cameras – but now, it’s just as simple as having a cropped-head picture or having strangers in the ends of my frame. And it is perfect the way it is.

Letting Life Happen

It doesn’t matter if I don’t get perfect exposures, what matters for me, is the moment captured — the event, the people, the fun, the love! In each shot taken, whether it was under or over exposed, it is life through my eyes (and technically through a plastic lens as well!). When I had a digital camera, I probably would have wasted a lot of time and opportunity reviewing the LCD and retaking shots until I thought I got it perfectly. Whereas with my Holga, I would have already taken several angles of a single place, person or event – all of which are perfect, unique and irreproducible.

What I learned from my Holga was not just the Sunny 16 rule and how to compose square format pictures. I learned to let go of a lot of thoughts and self-made rules that has kept me from seeing the simplicity and beauty of life. That, in my opinion, pretty much makes the trouble looking for expired films, the cost of importing supposedly cheap toy cameras, having to wait for rolls to be complete finished and then processed, all worth it.

This article was first published here
You can find out what else the writer is up to by visiting her Lomohome

written by ak47lomogurl on 2010-09-13 in #lifestyle

19 Comments

  1. paramir
    paramir ·

    this is beautiful. great article! and beautiful shots! I love this piece!

  2. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    aww, thanks paramir! i've been trying to figure out what else to write about.. taking a break from lomolocations hehe

  3. mikahsupageek
    mikahsupageek ·

    Excellent article, amazing gallery, I love that shot of the kid running into the water ! Thanks for sharing =)

  4. ayo_ari
    ayo_ari ·

    great article. love love LOVE your shots! very nice!

  5. disdis
    disdis ·

    great article and gallery!

  6. dogma
    dogma ·

    Very nice shots!

  7. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    thank you @mikahsupageek @ayo_ari @disdis and @dogma
    These are my personal favorites :) I'm really glad that you liked the article too!

  8. basterda
    basterda ·

    Sosyal. :)

  9. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    ahahaha sosyal?!?! sira! :D

  10. grazie
    grazie ·

    great article and that photo with the truck is one of my faves!

  11. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    thank you @grazie! That truck was really out of the way and I had to ask my brother to make a U-turn in the highway and go back to the gas station! hahaha good thing it was only a small highway :)

  12. lomoismypastime
    lomoismypastime ·

    Kudos to you! Loved reading this article =P

  13. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    Thank you, @lomoismypastime :)

  14. lazyorbit
    lazyorbit ·

    i love your photos!!!

  15. boredbone
    boredbone ·

    cool cool! :)

  16. ak47lomogurl
    ak47lomogurl ·

    thanks for reading @lazyorbit and @boredbone :D

  17. jetta
    jetta ·

    I think that we all have these issues. I certainly grappled with them. What you have said is very true and I need to love all my shots and see them as perfect and unique. Thanks for the well written article.

  18. isabelbatteria
    isabelbatteria ·

    Your article really spoke to me. That's why I decided to translated it despite being longer than the typical Lomography article. I'm not a control freak, haha, but everything else I can completely relate to. Your writing is great and your pictures rule. Regards.

    Here's the link for this article's translation: www.lomography.com/magazine/lifestyle/2010/10/25/aprendiend…

  19. evy
    evy ·

    this is absolutely a beautiful article.. i felt the sentimentality in it..

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