Remainders, Reminders

Or some things I found, other than photographs, in a forgotten roll of black and white film.

The said roll has been sitting in my fridge for a good six months until I had it processed at a photolab two weeks ago. I can only recall loading it in my SLR around mid-September last year during one of our daytime trips to Sariaya, Quezon but I cannot exactly remember what happened on that short stay, let alone what I’ve photographed on that lonely roll of film.

Credits: icequeenubia

I wasn’t expecting to get any result from it. Before having a dedicated space for my film stash in our family refrigerator, my rolls, exposed or otherwise, were kept on a wooden cabinet near a window. Clearly, with all that sunlight and heat, getting at least one decent photo out of this film roll would be quite a miracle.

What I received back from the photolab was really surprising. Memories suddenly went running through my head as I look at the scanned result. Along with these fragments were realizations of what I’ve might been missing recently and what I want to become next.

Credits: icequeenubia

Lately, following a series of loss and extreme changes, I’ve lost the drive to do things that I used to love and enjoy. One of which, sadly, is taking photographs. As you can see, I haven’t uploaded any album until now. I’ve been putting off plans to go around the city to shoot because I am either lazy or just plain tired and uninspired to go out. But seeing just how these photographs have turned out, I think, is enough to get me moving out of my shell.

Most of my photographs are of strangers and of places far from home. For some reason, I am not that comfortable with taking photographs of my own family. From this roll alone, only five, out of twenty two, were that of a close relative.

This is my grandfather and this is the last photo of him that I could ever take. He passed away last month.

Credits: icequeenubia

Here are photos of my favorite cousin. We are ten years apart but we are really close to each other. We share the same interest in watching sci-fi and western movies and I am teaching him to use film cameras, too!

Credits: icequeenubia

I think it’s about time that I dedicate a monthly roll solely for documenting my family. Who knows what might happen next, right? And isn’t it that photography was made for keeping those once in a lifetime moment with your loved ones alive?

A big chunk of this roll is that of a yearly fair at our province. I’ve always wanted to do a photo essay on people and their jobs and I guess, this is a good beginning.

Credits: icequeenubia

Perhaps, this is what I’ve been preparing for – documenting facets of human life that are often left unnoticed and faces of people trying their best to survive despite the adversaries. Quite an ambitious dream but certainly attainable.

Credits: icequeenubia

Although some photos were rather ugly and not aesthetically pleasing at all, I am still proud of how the entire roll turned out. I think it perfectly captured how I felt that day – lost but hopeful.

Credits: icequeenubia

From now on, when doubts about my ability to create evocative and lasting image cloud my mind, I’ll just look back at this roll and think that I already did a great start and that I can do better.

written by icequeenubia on 2014-05-16 in #lifestyle

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