The Cancer Patient

17

Last year, my wife fought off uterine cancer. My analog cameras helped capture what I saw with my eyes, what I felt with my heart.

Credits: emperornorton

A few days after this photo — the first on my “new” Zenza Bronica ETRS — was taken, Lynn went in for what was supposed to be a routine laparoscopic hysterectomy. Her doctor smiled and reminded us that only 2% of the patients of her age had malignant tumors. The surgery would take only thirty minutes, he assured me. An hour and a half later, I looked up from my reading to see him marching grim-faced towards me. He had bad news: she was one of the 2%.

Three days later we learned that the cancer had spread to her left ovary. He had removed everything, but he was guarded in her prognosis: he gave her a 75 to 80% chance of surviving five years.

She remained at Hoag Hospital in Newport Beach for a week. To celebrate her release, I took her down to Newport Beach Pier to walk on the beach and not think about the months of chemotherapy and radiation that lay ahead. The fishermen were catching mackerel that day and the sea gulls were clustering around them, hoping to steal a fish. Lynn walked around slightly bleary-eyed, sharing with me an uncertain hope for her recovery.

Credits: emperornorton

We took many beach outings. Walking on the slightly sloping sand was easier for her than the mountain trails that we used to hike together. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes. We would amble until she could take no more. Then, I would take her to the friend’s house where she was recovering.

Credits: emperornorton

After her second chemotherapy treatment, she started to lose her hair. To hide the fact, she wore a wig and scarves. Friends came to us with weird outlooks and theories. Some said she might not lose her hair — on days when she had pulled out clumps by the comb-full. A woman I knew online urged me to talk Lynn into skipping chemotherapy and try a radio-wave treatment. I looked into it and discovered that the founder of the organization had, himself, died of cancer.

Credits: emperornorton

I had my own demons to wrestle. I live with bipolar disorder, so Lynn’s sickness was a special strain on me. People didn’t understand that I couldn’t be there day and night for Lynn, that I had take sufficient time off for myself; that I had to sleep in a familiar bed and get enough sleep so that I didn’t spiral into madness.

One day, Lynn pulled off her wig and said “Take my picture.” I pulled out my camera phone and produced this shot:

It was, perhaps, the saddest picture of her that I ever took.

All this did work for the better. In September — about a year ago — she finished her chemotherapy and was declared in remission. She regained the weight she had lost during chemo and regrew her hair. In spring of this year, we took a cruise to Mexico. Lynn felt invigorated and happy.

Credits: emperornorton

Life prevailed over death. We’re back to taking long walks every Sunday. I’ve added a Belair to my collection and continue to play with the other gems of my analog collection. The photos show me what we went through — Lynn as a patient, me as a husband who was for a time unsure about what would happen to her and to his own sanity.

If this should happen to you, do what your doctors tell you to do. Oncology continues to refine its techniques: the survival rate for uterine cancer is now 90% or better if it is caught early enough. If you are a spouse, make time for yourself.

And do not stop seeing — because our visions are part of life.

Credits: emperornorton

written by emperornorton on 2013-07-31 in #lifestyle #lomography #survivor #portraits #sickness #cancer #wife #analogue-lifestyle #woman #uterine-cancer

17 Comments

  1. saidseni
    saidseni ·

    Strong hug to both of you. :´)

  2. ksears119
    ksears119 ·

    Very nice! You must both be very proud of each other!

  3. lakandula
    lakandula ·

    Best wishes of good health and lots of lomo memories to take!

  4. pussylove
    pussylove ·

    Warm thoughts to both of you...

  5. mafiosa
    mafiosa ·

    Thanks for sharing this story with us. I am glad to hear things are better!! Best wishes.

  6. clownshoes
    clownshoes ·

    :D you both are the best!

  7. nonspecificscientific
    nonspecificscientific ·

    Great story. Wishing the best for the both of you.

  8. lonur
    lonur ·

    i feel very moved by this. thanks a lot for sharing, very inspiring. best wishes for you both!

  9. ihave2pillows
    ihave2pillows ·

    What a journey! I'm glad that Lynn is recovering :-) Best wishes!!! xxx

  10. daitita
    daitita ·

    :_)

  11. sirio174
    sirio174 ·

    an huge hug!

  12. waggrad00
    waggrad00 ·

    Absolutely beautiful! Thank you for sharing this!

  13. adamo-75
    adamo-75 ·

    Thankyou for sharing your experience, beautifully inspiring. Love and good vibes to you both.

  14. guanatos
    guanatos ·

    Wow... I just read this and I think it's amazing how both of you (in your own way) were able to over come this. Inspiring!

  15. ajagee24701
    ajagee24701 ·

    Beautiful and inspiring article!

  16. grazie
    grazie ·

    My best wishes to the both of you. Hopefully I meet you one of these days. Thanks for sharing this. Very inspiring :)

  17. littlekoala
    littlekoala ·

    I'm very happy to read that she's recovered. A big hug to both of you and my best wishes

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