UK CitySlicker Claire: 50 Shades of Greyscale (NSFW)

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I really struggled for inspiration for my last month's CitySlicker article, and as a result ended up not writing one. I decided to do it today after having a think about it again - so here it is, my CitySlicker article relating to something literary.

Credits: playstoppause

So I could not decide on what to write about for my September article, and at the time, I was reading the Hunger Games trilogy, which, despite absolutely lovely, I wasn’t too sure how to re-create shots from it. This would have involved bloodshed, a trip to the future, and genetically modified animals that I do not have access to! Prior to the Hunger Games, I had, like everyone else in the UK it seems, had a bash at reading “50 Shades of Grey”. Described as “mummy porn”, I had been a bit nervous about reading it (I do NOT want to share a taste in erotic fiction with my Mum, thanks), but it was unavoidable, as it was all anyone talked about at my work for weeks, and they all had a lot of positive things to say about it. I do not. Here is my review of arguably the worst book I have ever read.

First of all, to say this book is badly written is a huge understatement. It’s not like I am a militant grammar freak or anything, and I often make mistakes, but this book doesn’t even observe basic rules about sentence structure. There was literally one line I had to read 10 times before I knew what it meant. The only positive here is that the book reads a bit like it was written by a child (structure wise, not content obviously) so you can easily rattle off 100 pages in a very short space of time. My second gripe is with it is the characters. Usually when I read something or watch a TV show, I at least like one person in it. Not in this book. Not one of the characters has any redeeming qualities and if I knew them in real life, we certainly wouldn’t be friends. Mr G is one step short of a domestic incident, Ana is a complete pushover, and the rest of them are not really worth mentioning. The worst part of the book however is the sex, which is unfortunate because it happens every 7 pages (I don’t know how they ever get anything done, like cleaning, and catching up on Strictly Come Dancing and the like!). The sex just seemed a bit dull, one sided and regimental. I personally don’t find this a turn on but then maybe I am just boring. So when I was on the Lomo site the other day, browsing random shots – the header photo for this article popped up. Now that is something I do find erotic, and beautiful and well thought through – which is the qualities this book is lacking. So here is my gallery “50 Shades of Greyscale” – documenting some of the best black-and-white nude shots that Lomography has to offer.

Credits: daniellepetrosa, sixsixty, oneira1927, bcartwright, aprilrich427, mediabrus, mylatehope, tall_bastard, why-yu, reneg88, disdis, ethermoon, farbenmann, daitita, yopanic, powoui, johnathansanalogphotography, guayabazo, quintavius, mariovazcruz, noe_arteaga, thoughtlesshero, lemonjuice, 1122 & derekfm

Thank you to all the photographers I have featured here – they are fab shots!

written by kneehigh85 on 2012-10-31 in #lifestyle #uk #modern #cityslicker #literature #books #monochrome #september #erotica #novel

8 Comments

  1. sixsixty
    sixsixty ·

    50 Shades of Greyscale! Ha great title!

  2. noe_arteaga
    noe_arteaga ·

    A very interesting article. Thanks for including my photo among other great ones!

  3. cyan-shine
    cyan-shine ·

    Fucking awesome article.

  4. kneehigh85
    kneehigh85 ·

    Thanks a lot @cyab-shine and @sixsixty and @noe-arteaga

  5. lgseastlondon
    lgseastlondon ·

    Amazing Claire...very well chosen shots! Or as Ana would say..."oh my!"

  6. kneehigh85
    kneehigh85 ·

    @lgseastlondon - yep, she'd say "oh my" and then refer to her vagina as "my sex" - bleuuuuuuurgh!

  7. kneehigh85
    kneehigh85 ·

    Thanks @cyan-shine even. I really hated this book!

  8. cutebun
    cutebun ·

    wow. I'm still reading it.. Fifty shades darker now.. hmmm I struggled with my article writing too.. missed few months and no new assignment.. =/

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