Let me be perfectly honest, there’s not a lot I have done which I am proud of!
I have always thought of myself as a pretty wise person. Advice on life is something I am known for giving. I mean, I seem to understand people so well. It’s just in my blood what can I say… But one thing I can’t seem to understand properly is… MYSELF!
Through my younger years I was a good kid. I true genius i must say. Academically within the top 3% in my high school, and within the top 3 students in the state for mathematics. But now… What happened?!?
I have realized that I have always had an addictive personality. Being successful in school was essential. No wait… It was paramount!!! Unfortunately it wasn’t just the grades…
First, the alcohol. It started with a sip of beer, which turned into a bottle of chives by the age of 20. Then came the cocaine. Well, actually it started with marijuana, but that didn’t go down well the first time so that was the once and only. But cocaine… Oh my, the cocaine!!!
What a joy!!! I felt on top of the world with just one line. Then the second just made me superman. It’s not something I am proud of, but it’s something I really enjoyed.
My addiction has cost me a lot… Money, work, friends, family, marriage… And so much more (not even mentioning my brain cells! At least I can still buy friends).
But that is all in my past now. I have been clean of coke for the past 25months and counting (something my new partner is happy about). And as for the alcohol, I may not off the wagon, but I am fighting hard to control the urges.
But there’s one thing I am content to be addicted to… Photography!!! It’s not exactly cheap, but at least it doesn’t cost as much as a gram of coke. And it reminds me that my life is precious and I plan to record it through analogue.
Through it I hope to show the world (or whoever wants to view it) as I know it. Not exactly sober, but happily on my way there and also to happiness!!!
Regardless what, i will continue my fight with myself and control my addictions.
So let’s take the photographic journey together…
It may not make you as high as a line of coke or a bottle of chivas will, but I guarantee that it will show you life through my eyes.
written by litleandi on 2012-08-13