when I was 13. My father used it occasionally for job progress photographs, but my stepmother never noticed it.
Photographed with Ricoh Caplio 500G Industrial Camera.Anyway, I took the camera to my cousin Debbie’s birthday beach party at Zuma, that
spring, and it got several of us in trouble.
Debbie had just turned 13 and looked like a dirty yellow mop, turned shag end up, with 2 large blue buttons and 2 fairy cakes with pink frosting in the appropriate places in a red and white 1 piece with ruffles on chest and butt and about 4’ 6" tall. My cousin Billyjoe was 11. He and
I were both very small pudgy boys in blue shorts. My cousin Butchie, a majestic
highschooler in his own mind, was there with his date, a large, brunette, bottom
heavy girl, wearing a red and yellow polka-dot bikini, too narrow for her
butt-crack. She was bigger than he was, and I have forgotten her name. Her mother was there to chaperone all of us and about five other children and was absolutely colossal in a hibiscus print muumuu. My Uncle Neil was there, too, and drunk. There was a lot of adult wine drinking. Also there was a large OD colour tent.
When we were together, sociologically, Debbie was Moe, and Billyjoe and I were Larry and Curley, and quite dangerous to ourselves.
Debbie hated Butchie’s girlfriend and insisted we needed a photo of her butt-crack
for future use. What she would use it for remains a mystery.
I had the Rolleiflex loaded with Tri-X. Butt-girl was bent over, head in the food
basket, butt-crack wonderfully displayed. So, we snuck up behind her, Debbie
pushing on me, and snapped the photo. Butt-girl noticed and started after us. We ran, but butt-girl was fast, so, I lateraled the camera to Billyjoe, who threw a 40 foot Hail Mary pass to Debbie for a perfect reception. Debbie then ran full tilt into butt-girl’s mother, who took the camera away from her, and stuffed it in her muumuu, down her decolletage (it fit). It was sort of like a rat slamming headlong into into a tigress. Debbie, Billyjoe, and I were herded into the tent and told to stay there for 1 hour for “meanness and egregious rudity”. About 15 minutes later, butt-girl’smother kicked us out of the tent and shoved butt-girl in there with a sweater covering her butt and told her to stay 1 hour for “whining, butt crackage and egregious piggery”. Butt-girl’s mom
had, apparently, looked in the food basket, liked the word “egregious” and made up her own words.
I didn’t get the camera back that day, but Butchie said he would steal it back. About 2
weeks later, Uncle Neil drove over to our house, sober,now, and gave me back my camera.
It was empty. Butt-girl’s mom probably shot the rest of the roll (about 6 left),
and that butt shot is in some forgotten photo album, 47 years in the past. I still
have the camera. It works great. Even the light meter still works.
Anyway, always remember, butt shots are dangerous. Butt-girl could have caught us. She was about 5’ 10" and about 190lb.
written by herbert-4 on 2010-11-04