I'm going crazy. I'm going mad, confusion, confusion and fever dreams of Berlin.
I woke up around 2 AM in the middle of the night, cold sweating, my tiny student apartment/room was unusually silent and I had an unexplainable confusion growing inside me. I could barely breath, somehow, I’d gotten a fever in just the two hours I’d been sleeping. I tried to fall back to sleep. I managed, but a couple of minutes later I woke up. Annoyingly cold sweating, dazed, confused, with breathing difficulties and now with a bad stinging head ache. What was up with this night, and what was up with me? I’m going crazy, I though to myself. And how come everything’s so silent? The autumn wind had been smashing against my windows and sweeping the cold city streets for about a month or two, but right then and there, everything was silent and calm. Argh, how painful silence can be when one’s getting teared up by fever and confusion.
I fell back to sleep, woke up again, fell back to sleep, woke up again – it continued like this the whole night. I couldn’t relax, and at the same time annoying fever dreams started to hunt me.
I’m going mad, I’m going mad, this is madness.
The last dream was a bitter sweet one though. I arrived alone, by train, in the most fantastic city of them all. Berlin. Oh, how I love you. Not even fever dreams could bring you down. How I long for you.
Around 10.30 I still had my bad head ache and my whole body felt sore. Over a night I was suddenly sick. Nothing bad really, though, even though I felt like a crazy person right then, it was probably just a common cold or the flu.
I’m stunned of how fast and sudden it hit me. The night before, even two hours before I woke up the first time, everything was normal and I felt just as well and sane as usual.